Salad Dressing

I don't know how you feel about your salad dressings, but I have some definite opinions about mine. Take fat-free ranch for instance. This is probably the most disgusting salad dressing on the face of the planet. I work at a restaurant and the way we delineate between regular ranch and the fat-free variety is this: the normal-looking one is regular and the one that looks like gel? That's fat-free. Gross. Also, it doesn't even taste like normal ranch dressing. It's sweeter in a really disgusting way. Furthermore, when you try to wash the stuff off of plates and so forth, you realize it's not really water-soluble. People want to put that stuff in their bodies!? Bad taste. Bad texture. No thank you. Icky.

So, I tried to find out when this disgusting dieter's staple first came on the market by utilizing Wikipedia's vast array of information. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to have anything on fat-free ranch in particular. They did however have this. I laughed out loud at the marking for "Kosher varieties" mostly because, of all those salad dressings, there are TWO kosher kinds. Only two.

In conclusion, fat-free ranch is one of the more deplorable dressings available AND Wishbone is antisemitic.