Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Keeping Up Appearances

It has come to my attention in recent years that most people are simply selfish. It never ceases to amaze me the absolute disregard for chivalry with which most people go about their daily lives. I am so taken aback by the purely selfish motives that lie behind even the most seemingly selfless acts. Truly, I feel like an alien at times. Don't get me wrong: I certainly don't view myself as a saint. I simply do not approach life the way that many seem to. Perhaps it is the way I was raised and maybe it is simply Jesus, but I have an extremely hard time relating to a lot of people on the level of self-servitude.

In high school, I tried to be as active as I could be. I took a lot of dance classes and was generally absent from many social functions, but I was as active a member of Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Student Council, class council, French Club, Tiger Leadership and youth group as I possibly could be. I did these things because I liked them. I love people and I really enjoy interacting with others. Furthermore, I truly enjoy serving. Sure I participated in fun FCA and youth group events, but my ultimate favorite has always been putting a smile on someone's face. The best day of the whole year in high school was the day that the local chocolatier gave FCA all the free chocolate to hand out to our classmates. That chocolate made people so happy and Mr. Donaldson was a saint to have done that for us.

When I made it to college, I was eager once again to be an active part of the student body. I joined a sorority, looked into clubs and started going to student government meetings. It was then that I realized how self-centered all of these activities were. For me, they were a chance to experience, grow and serve. Others, however, would unashamedly profess how joining Tri Delta was gonna look great on their resume and would really help build their career network. I was shocked. I had always thought sororities were about sisterhood and service. This attitude was even more rampant throughout other student organizations. When I joined Alpha Phi Omega, a service fraternity, I discovered that nobody actually showed up to the service events. Big Brothers/Big Sisters was a sham, too. I thought I was going to help kids who needed help. Instead, parents with children living in one of the richest districts in the country would sign their kids up for practically a free babysitter. The other volunteer mentors were just looking for another thing to make them look good and they told me so in so many words. How on earth had I missed the memo on all of this? Did everyone do good works to garner some sort of reward?

Growing up in my house, you were taught to do the right thing because it was the right thing to do-- not because you got some sort of reward for it. It was expected and questions were not asked. How had everyone else's education been so very different? I also hold true to the proverb that much is asked of those who are given much. I don't need to do selfless things for other people because it looks good on my resume or gets me brownie points with my employers and coworkers. I need to do good things because good things have been given to me. In this fallen world, however, this is alien thinking.

When you think about it, you can't help but feel furthermore compelled to the cross. This world needs Jesus. That people cannot even do good in the name of doing good and that they must have some sort of personal gain from the act is simply appalling. Jesus Christ gave us the greatest gift in forfeiting everything he had. Should we not also give up everything for Him? The reward we are offered for doing nothing but trusting is truly awe-inspiring. The gift of a life with God is something I cannot even begin to comprehend. And so, because of this gift, I feel compelled to look even more on Jesus and act in a way that might repay that debt. It cannot be repayed, but it is so miraculous that there is simply no good excuse not to seek after it and live a life according to that of Christ. If it is able for this unbelieving world to see the glory of Christ through even my small actions, it was well worth the personal discomfort and sacrifice taken to get there.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Forgiveness Is A Hard-Fought Victory

A really good friend of mine reminded me about the importance of forgiveness today.

I have been pretty angry at my friend for awhile. Normally, we refuse forgiveness when we are angry, put-off and vengeful. It is no surprise then that I had not yet forgiven him, even though I tried desperately to convince myself I was not angry and that I had gotten over the whole thing. Neither of these things being true, it was just a matter of time before the lid was blown on the whole sham.

You see, this friend had refused to speak to me for months with little to no explanation. At first, I was heartbroken. One of my best friends just left me high and dry. How would you have felt? This heartbreak slowly morphed into hardened anger and I barely took notice. As I nursed my wounded spirit, I told myself this reaction was totally acceptable, natural and, indeed, right. I certainly had every right to feel the way I was feeling. Nobody would fault me there. I had been slighted. This gave me the right to pout and carry on and nobody was allowed to reprimand me.

I had the right to be angry. But was it what I should be doing?

I never really stopped to ask myself that question. Instead, when this dear, dear friend of mine finally decided to show his face again, I let him have it. I demanded an explanation. I refused kindness. I was a brute, to be quite frank. He didn't respond well. Mostly defensively. I can't really blame him for that. What was I expecting? People don't usually apologize as you reprimand them as harshly as I was him. It certainly did not end well. I have to say, I am quite ashamed of the whole thing. In all of that tumult and anger, I had forgotten two very important aspects of humanity: 1) Nobody is perfect and 2) keeping others' experience in perspective is of vital importance.

Instead of greeting my friend warmly after his 6 month absence from my life, I chose to let my anger get the best of me. Here was one of the people I had most identified with in my young life and I was willing to let him go for a bunch of prideful anger. True, he deserved it, but it's not my job to give him what he deserves. If I got everything I deserved, I would be one unhappy camper. Instead, it is my job to be merciful. This dear friend of mine should have received my forgiveness and mercy regardless of how he had wronged me. None of that should matter.

None of it does matter.

I just wonder if it's now too late to be in his good graces once more.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

D'OH!: An Open Criticism of Myself.

I am an idiot.

I do really, really unforgivably obnoxious things sometimes. The thing that kills me about it is that I CONTINUE to do them even though I am FULLY AWARE of how much they annoy other people.

For example, I will argue a point long after the subject has been exhausted. I get this from my father. I wish that I didn't do this because my sisters don't do it. Just me. My dad is a really cool person but he can also be really obnoxious sometimes. This is precisely the thing that has driven my mother nuts for years and the thing that caused my sisters and I to completely tune him out when I was growing up. When my sister graduated from high school, the general consensus was that she was the most like Dad. She has the same thought process, a similar intelligence level, etc. I remember feeling slighted and disenfranchised in some respect-- not because I wanted to be just like him but more that she somehow inherited all the admirable qualities and I had inherited all the ones nobody wanted to lay claim to. Don't get me wrong: my dad doesn't have many bad qualities. However, it does seem that the mantle of this particular characteristic has been bestowed upon Yours Truly with a general lack of the kind of intelligence and logic necessary to legitimize it.Sadly, it seems my family might agree with this assessment.

Another example is the way I just talk to fill up empty space. I feel like I chatter incessantly and it annoys even ME. Why can't I figure out how to shut up? I will talk about anything continually so long as it doesn't mean an awkward silence. I make myself look like an idiot regularly. I don't know if it's more annoying or embarrassing. I wish I had a chatterbox conscience that would tell me when to shut off my word vomit. Seriously, what is the value of going on about coloring inside the lines? Why talk someone's ear off about ballet when they couldn't care less? Will I ever learn to value silence?

I know I do other annoying things, too. I can tell by the way my classmates generally avoid me, family members skirt around certain issues and my friends space out in my presence. Still, I think these are the core of the problem. The issues herein is, however, that I have known these things for quite awhile. So, what's the problem? Are these my "pet transgressions"? Am I seriously so prideful that I am wont to rid myself of these things? Or is it simply who I am? And if it is, how do I harness these qualities and render them for good instead of repellent, self-destruction?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Pet Peeves Die Hard

Imagine: you are reading a super-swank story about sneakers, chock full of nifty links to other sites featuring sneakers. You're loving the article, thinking,"this fella is totally on the money!" when, suddenly, the tempting link you have, at length, chosen from among the article's cornucopia of offerings and gingerly selected with your cursor has transported you to another internet dimension-- that is, another site. If you're anything like me, you are aghast. "What the truck!?," you say to yourself (well, maybe only Laura Flynn would say that to herself... out loud anyway). "I WAS STILL READING THAT!"

Imagine no more. Simply click the link up yonder to view (in another window!) the culprit.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why it is that organizations/companies/people allow link to navigate from their pages. Newsflash: We are a much savvier consumer then you anticipate, organization/company/person. I do not care to be flung all over the internet while in the same browser/tab. The "previous page" button sucks and is for squares. Actually, I just find that tabs are useful for meaningful cross-referencing and would appreciate if you would recognize this preference. Your links are cool/useful, but it is time to graduate from potty training: MAKE YOUR LINKS OPEN IN ANOTHER WINDOW, YOU DUMMY!

Furthermore, why on earth would you allow eyeballs to get away!? In the case of Paste Magazine (That's where that link goes, in case you haven't already clicked. It's okay. Go ahead and click it. This page will still be here when you do.), I know the goal is not to get people to buy Adidas and Onitsuka sneakers. The point is to document pop culture. Also, they are in some hot water financially and may or may not stay afloat. So, why don't they utilize simple HTML and keep those eyeballs on their pages? I couldn't say why, because the reasoning would be absurd. Perhaps Adidas and Onitsuka are paying for this linkage, but Paste certainly has other advertisers who will pull ads if they don't generate enough traffic via web advertising. Thus, Paste (and others!) would be wise to utilize the "target='blank'" attribute of the <a href="link"></a> tag. This is how it works:

<a href="link" target="blank">CONTENT</a>

Simple, no? Also, simply smart. I doubt that Paste is trying to pull people away from its site. They probably never really thought about it. However, being successful on the web (or anything) requires some forethought. I don't purport to be a web genius, but I think the point of this post is a pretty obvious concern. Be a thinker, not a stinker, Paste!

So, now that you know, you will probably never forget this. I mean, is it really necessary to write many words on this subject? No. In all honesty, it's probably obnoxious and has you wondering why you've read to this point. However, I doubt you'll let links navigate from your company's site in the future. Surf on, dude!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

1976 Swine Flu Propaganda

Swine flu is one of the more ridiculous things we've been worried about this year. Apparently, 1976 saw a similar worry. This isn't the only thing we've got in common with '76, but I can bet I'd tick some people off by mentioning other similarities. I suppose I'll just shut my trap and let you enjoy the following:

Need I say more?

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Quality, not Quantity

In high school, I was an avid ballet dancer. My evenings consisted of dance classes from 4:00-10:00 and weekends were filled with rehearsals. I didn't have much of a social life, but I absolutely loved every moment. I learned a lot about myself, my art and life in general through all of my dance training. I certainly would not be who I am today without it.

One of the things I remember most vividly is my Russian ballet and pointe teacher Rosanna Ruffo. She taught upper-level ballet on Mondays and Wednesdays. One of the things Ms. Ruffo reiterated throughout my training was, "quaaality over quaaant-ti-ty, girls." She said it just like that. Perhaps she was trying to emphasize her point and perhaps English simply was not her mother tongue. Either way, I always remember her words.

Ms. Ruffo's advice extends beyond just the dance studio. It's a lesson on life. It isn't the quantity, but the quality, that is so profound. Quality relationships. Quality work. Quality advice. These are among the many things that we sometimes over-do in an effort to make a difference, make ourselves known or infuse meaning.

As I graduate in just a week, I hope I can carry this lesson with me. It is among the most important lessons I have ever and will ever learn.

Oh-so cute!

You're gonna love this, ya big softie!

Wasn't that adorable!?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Creeptastic Mexican Song

From the Babel Soundtrack, download the link:

Crazy Mexican Song

Mexican Metal? Creeptastic.

Butler's Top Ten

I'll be graduating from Butler University in Indianapolis, Indiana in just a few short weeks (May 9), and as my tenure as a Butler undergraduate student comes to an end, I'd like to leave a few suggestion for posterity. If you plan on coming to Butler this fall or just haven't quite figured the ropes yet, you might find this helpful. In no particular order:

1) At Butler, you're going to need some excellent all-weather footwear. When it rains, campus is like a giant bird feeder. That is to say that there's a three-inch pool of water that will get in your way anywhere you try to walk. You're better off having a pair of rainboots (girls) or some water-repellent shoes (guys). Also, be prepared for winter weather! It normally snows in January 'round these parts and cold feet are no fun. You may think they look dorky, but I swear you'll thank me later.

2) Most will do this anyway, but make sure you're bringing a laptop to school with you. We've got a completely wireless campus and the printers are wireless too. You'll definitely want something easy and portable for group meetings and study sessions.

3) If your degree plan is in Media Arts, Recording Industry Studies or another tech-heavy major, you might want a desk top for ease of use. If this is the case, make sure you purchase a flash drive and external hard drive for portability. (Heck, you'll need those things anyway, no matter what your degree!)

4) Buy a Butler Gavel! The Gavel is the day-planner published by the school's Mortar Board Society. I suggest the Gavel over another day-planner because it has event information published on the dates they are happening throughout the school year.

5) Don't forget your sense of humor. Butler is what it is: an over-priced liberal arts college. You will see hilarious things like every girl on campus wearing Ugg Boots and North Face jackets. You will experience the phenomenon of everyone having a car on campus. This is what you're getting yourself into. I find these Butler nuances hilarious in a lot of ways, but I know some people who let it irritate them. Don't come here expecting diversity on the economic scale. Laugh it off.

6) Also, don't expect diversity of races. Butler lied to you when they told you they were focused on diversity. We are whities here-- don't let anyone tell you differently. Students joke that the Diversity Center is a terrarium for minority students at Butler. It's sad, but true. That's not to say we aren't accepting, because we are. We're just white people.

7) Buy your books online. And, no, I don't mean at the Butler bookstore's website (although there is a cool pre-order feature that allows the staff time to put all your books together for pick up at a later date). Unless you need the CD that comes with the book or something, you'll find it far more cost-effective to buy your textbooks from or another service like it.

8) Take a JCFA class or two. Everyone is required to take at least one fine arts course to satisfy the Core Curriculum. However, I suggest taking one or two more than that. Butler has one of the best performing arts schools in the Midwest, so take advantage of it while you can! There are non-major music, dance and theatre courses at every level if you're interested.

9) Study abroad. This is the one piece of advice I am giving that I haven't experienced myself. My situation in school has been interesting, but I never had time to study abroad between transferring schools AND changing majors. However, I hear it is the experience of a lifetime. To me, it seems like one of the best things you can do for your education.

10) Go Greek. The Greek community at Butler is not your typical television drama stereotype. Butler Greeks do great things for their campus and community on a regular basis. Furthermore, your membership in a fraternity or sorority will give you a lot of access to campus organizations, activities and happenings. This campus has a great, strong Greek tradition that anyone would be proud to be a part of.

The overarching piece of advice I have is to HAVE FUN! College has been the best four years of my life thus far. I have made my best friends and experienced so many great things. I am a different person than when I started school and I am better for it. That said, congratulations, good luck and happy trails. You're about to embark on a whirlwind journey you won't soon forget. :)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Hooray! A Website For Me!

Check THIS out!

Okay, so, it could be better, but it's officially my first self-made website! Tell me what you think! Welcome world!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Crossroads 2007

As I was driving in home from Easter at my grandmother's house yesterday, my iPod spit out something I haven't heard in awhile: I Don't Need No Doctor (live cover by John Mayer, Crossroads 2007). It was such a beautiful day and the atmosphere was perfect for the feeling I get from live recorded music. There is something truly special about hearing the recorded version of music you had the opportunity to see live. I was at Crossroads in 2007 and hearing this track brought the memories of the day back for me. Never have I been so sunburned or so elated over music. It was great to hear, for sure. The song reminded me I really should share it with others. Upon returning home, I promptly uploaded the track to DivShare and Twittered the link to my various followers. I thought I might share it here as well. Here it is (courtesy of Debbie Ocoboc of LA).

Also, I was reminded of the post I made at My Stupid Mouth (a John Mayer fanboard). I practically wrote a novel about the event. At first, I was going to post the entire thing, but I decided to spare you. Instead, I'll just share the portion about John Mayer's performance:

"He opened with WOTWTC, which was less than eventful. It was funny, though. The audience was very attentive, but there was hardly anyone singing along or jamming. It was almost like "Yea, I like him, but I don't wanna let anyone else know it!" was the pervading logic of the moment. He played a fabulous "Belief" followed by a "Vultures" with a new intro. During V, some a-hole in the pit yelled, "Play the Blues, John!". "I heard someone tell me to play the blues," came the response. "In my mind, I kinda thought I was, but I think I know what you mean. This next one's a Ray Charles' song I did on a John Scofield album. It's called 'I Don't Need No Doctor'". Proceeds to kick major butt. The boy let it rip. The whole stadium couldn't help but stand and applaud, hoot n' holler for his fantastic solo! That, ladies and gentlemen, is the best I have ever seen John Mayer play live. EVER! It was a great moment to be a John Mayer fan. Hope that stupid D-Bag got the "Screw you, very much!" loud and clear! As if it couldn't get any better, JM finished his set with a stellar "Gravity" that got him almost the same reaction that Derek Trucks had received earlier in the day. Many a Mayer fan left that stadium Saturday evening than had initially entered, I can tell you that much."

Man, what a great day that was for me! I hope by downloading and listening to the track I'm sharing in this post, you can feel a little bit of the excitement I felt yesterday afternoon driving along in the car. Also, I'd highly encourage you to scour the internet for the taped concerts you've been to in the past. There is truly nothing like it! A few months ago, I heard a track from a Wilco concert I went to last summer. It was the same feeling--just really fun to hear it again and re-live the experience. You don't knwo the feeling until you try it. I promise you'll find what you're looking for if you just put some elbow grease into it!

Thank God for concerts, tapers and the internet!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


So, I have been wondering for awhile just how much my blog entertains others. I would like to think it does an adequate to excellent job at getting a giggle/chuckle/guffaw/insert other synonym for laughter here or there. The truth is, though, I don't even know how many people look at this thing! Also, nobody ever comments. Sad day. I have no idea where to take this blog next for a few reasons:

1) I don't know how many unique visitors I have. I don't really care what the number is. I just want to know what it is.
2)Nobody gives me feedback. Feedback is really important in cyberworld, but I would contest it is even MORE important in the blogosphere. In an effort to maintain some relevance, we bloggers need someone to encourage our efforts or tell us we suck. Right now, I'm thinking my product is blah. Just bland, stale and blah. Not a fun feeling for little me.
3) I don't know what type of original content I can actually come up with. I am a cyber packrat and I have internet ADD like nobody's business. This thing is different on a daily basis. I don't know if that's a narrow enough focus, in all honesty. (To me, it's not really a focus at all.)

At any rate, these are my challenges. I think I've gotta come up with a way to remedy #1 and #3, but you guys should be able to help me with #2. You can comment via the comments field on this blog OR any of the following:

Twitter: malloryking86
Facebook: Mallory King, Butler University and Indianapolis Networks

PLEASE, please, please respond with suggestions or comments in general!

Currently chewing on: Creating my own website for my blog (so my readers don't have to submit to the whole Google thing just to comment on Blogger), focusing my blog on pop culture or social networking, renaming it to Cyber Packrat.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I'm White

Hokay, so, I have been noticing recently (and by recently, I mean the last 4 years of my life) how very white I am. WASP, actually. At any rate, there are a lot of white people in this country. Approximately 75% of the population is white. But I am whiter than many. A lot of white people identify with some sort of cultural history. Some white people are Jewish. Others are Irish. Many are German, Polish and even an Eastern European brand of white. Not me, though. I'm just... white. No strong cultural identifiers. No ancient messianic religions (besides Christianity, which actually isn't that ancient in comparison to Judaism. Plus, my family lineage isn't even speckled with Christianity. It's mostly just my immediate family). Just plain old WASP-y white. I'm okay with that for the most part except that now, I can't hold certain professions. Since I'm not black or Jewish or an alcoholic or addicted to drugs (What does that have to do with anything?), I can't be a comedian. I'm not rich (or Jewish), so I can't be a record producer. I'm not poor (or black) either, so I can't be a civil rights leader. Gosh darn. Since when did being white have so many limitations? I wonder what else I can think of that being white limits me from doing.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Murder Toilet

JFK and I were walking down Berkley tonight when we met some friendly folks who bedazzled us. In return, we gave them some vodka and watched their low-budge, high-class movie trailer for the upcoming feature film Murder Toilet. I find it perfect that among the search tags, the word "campy" was listed. This is better than the best classic horror film you've ever seen. Muchos love, neighbors. Please take a gander:

How perfect was that? Aren't you so pleased with yourself for watching it? I was.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Timberlake on Mayer

So, now we know. This is what JT thinks of John Mayer:

Personally, I find this hilarious.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Twitter and why you should too.

So many of my friends ask me, almost daily, "what's up with this Twitter thing?" I've been working on a sentence-long description, but Twitter can do so many things, it's hard to summarize in such a small amount of words. Most of the time, they move on thinking, "eh, not for me", "just another website to clutter my inbox" or "this thing isn't any more useful than Facebook". I really love Twitter and have gotten some interesting information that I would regularly just more or less bypass as a result of using it. When I see the benefits of Twitter almost daily and can't seem to convince others of the usefulness therein, my friends' reactions naturally make me feel like I'm a terrible advocate. Today, however, I found a video of Twitter founder Evan Williams explaining Twitter at TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design conference). I'll make due with this while I come up with the one-sentence explanation:

Monday, February 23, 2009

Jazz Funeral

I want a jazz funeral. Please give me one when I die. This is a living will of sorts. That is all.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It's Wilco DVD Time!!

Ashes of American Flags, due out April 18th.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Tribute to Jim Henson

I thought it appropriate to honor one of the great fabricators of my childhood wonderment: Jim Henson. Kermit, Miss Piggy, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock. How can you deny the greatness? Thank you, Jim Henson. Thank you.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Strange Puppet Video

Love Beck and also this video.

Thanks to Radiohead for posting it and making me aware of its existence. :)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Tongue in Cheek is My Favorite Type of Humor

Seth Godin, you are hilarious.

Fairly certain that my parents homeschooled me to avoid about 50% of these side effects of public education.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Welcome, World!

I've been blogging since October, but today is the first day that I have seen the direct effect of some of the more niche audiences discovering me. Earlier today, I posted a video from an old cartoon called Really Rosie. The cartoon was animated by Maurice Sendak and music was by Carole King. Take a look at the following reponse I received:

Now, I can only speculate at how this has happened. I'm assuming that some major Carole King fanchick (or dude!) has Carole King's name on Google Alert or something similar. Upon my post, and seeing Ms. King' name so close to Mr. Sendak's, the fanchick decided to check it out. Of course, I thought this was a random little video clip of a cartoon that many have long forgotten. I overlooked, however, the dedication and loyalty some fans have (I myself have a similar fandom in regard to Mr. John Mayer). I was shortly rebuked by Ms. Anonymous and she has scampered away as quickly as she happened upon me in the first place, I am sure. (Though I hope she continues to come around and perhaps reveals herself at some point!)

And so begins my journey into the world of technology and interwebs. I was on a footpath before, but I'm now at the edge of a uncharted internet forest. I cannot say ever again that I'm aware of all of my viewers. That's a very interesting matter-of-fact for a 22-year-old blogger with no stakes yet to lay claim to. I think it's probably one of the more interesting things about the blogosphere that it is so unpredictable. I relish the idea that many eyes belonging to many people I will never meet might be reading these words right now. As they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. So, without further ado...

Welcome, World!

"I don't care," said Pierre.

I know about 5 people who will remember this and all it's glory:

Maurice Sendak and Carole King. Does it really get any better?

I heart Twitter

Please add me (malloryking86).

Currently envisioning a Twitter/AIM/Skype/Blogger/Facebook monstrosity. If only I knew how to build software... But it would probably be illegal.

Scott, any help?

Saturday, January 31, 2009

John Mayer on Sesame Street

If you know me, you know how much I love John Mayer. Naturally, I would find this little gem. John Mayer on Sesame Street. Enjoy:

Monday, January 26, 2009

Birth Control Will Help the Economy (?)

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi had this to say Sunday.

Okay, now that you've read that, perhaps you are thinking how asinine that sounds. Maybe you aren't. Let me tell you why I think it's dumb: With all due respect Sen. Pelosi, having children creates a demand for production and production, frankly, is what will bring our economy out of the shitter. If I didn't know better, I'd say this is more of a moral judgment call than a sound piece of legislation for a stimulus package. Also, if I weren't such a patriot, I might tell Sen. Pelosi to stop wasting my money. The Fed has already taken $50 out of my pocket since Jan. 1.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Something you have never seen before.

Laura Flynn in strappy heels. Brilliant. I knew I liked Ryan.